The world can be a pretty stressful, scary place under normal circumstances. When your own brain is conspiring against you, creating negative thoughts, that is only compounded.
Cognitive distortions are incorrect thoughts that are usually negative that your brain conjures up from time to time. Often, they are triggered by a simple event, which your brain then expands to become a much bigger problem.
One example would be when you do badly on one test at school, decide you are a hopeless student, and convince yourself you should quit. Another would be assuming the worst every time someone is late for an appointment or meeting. Sometimes, people are just running late, but if you regularly decide they must have had an accident.
Thoughts like these, when you have them often enough, can change the way you see the world, and have a profound impact on your anxiety levels. Here’s what you need to know.
Why Do We Have Cognitive Distortions?
Most people have cognitive distortions sometimes. However, research suggests that people who have them frequently might be reacting to ongoing negative situations in their lives, and the cognitive distortions are a coping mechanism.
However, while this might work in the short term, there’s evidence that it can be detrimental in the long term.
Types of Cognitive Distortions
Like many things related to how we think, you might not even know you are having cognitive distortions, because there are so many variations of this kind of thinking out there, such as the following.
| Distortion | Description |
|---|---|
| Polarised Thinking | Polarised thinking happens when we only think in terms of extremes. Either we will be wildly successful, or a dismal failure. Either we will be deliriously in love, or desperately alone. We don’t allow ourselves to think about all the possibilities between those to extremes. |
| Overgeneralisation | We all generalise from time to time, but if you overgeneralise, you probably do this much more frequently. Perhaps you didn’t get a job you interviewed for, so you decide that your skills are worthless, and you will never get any job. That’s not realistic, which is why this kind of overgeneralisation is a cognitive distortion. |
| Catastrophising | Catastrophising is a type of cognitive distortion where you automatically jump to the worst possible outcome. So, your lunch date doesn’t arrive on time, so you automatically assume they’ve been in an accident. The idea that they might simply be stuck in traffic is not even a consideration. |
| Personalisation |
Personalisation is a type of cognitive distortion which causes you to take everything personally, even when it is not personal. You might feel that you are regularly left out of social events, or that everyone is out to get you. People who suffer from this type of cognitive distortion feel that they are being targeted by people around them, in their personal and professional lives. |
| Mind Reading | If you often feel that you know what other people are thinking, you are probably suffering from a type of cognitive distortion known as mind reading. You might have heard this described as “putting words in someone else’s mouth.” Instead of waiting to hear what they are thinking, you assume that you already know. |
| Mental Filtering | Have you ever been described as a pessimist? Chances are you are guilty of mental filtering. This is a type of cognitive distortion where you immediately disregard positive thoughts and focus on the negative ones. This might apply to thoughts about situations and events, but also to yourself. So, you might automatically assume you will fail at something, rather than considering the possibility that you might succeed. |
| Should Statements | Have you ever told yourself that you should be able to do something, or that it should be possible to achieve something? This is a cognitive distortion. Often, these thoughts come from social, cultural, or family expectations. You “should” be able to get into medical school because your mother or father did. There’s no real connection between those two things, but your mind has created one. |
| Emotional Reasoning | Emotional reasoning is a kind of cognitive distortion where we decide that the way we feel about something is definitive. We are afraid of flying, therefore flying is bad. We don’t like a particular person; therefore, they are a bad person. Our feelings about a person, thing or situation does not define that thing, but when we have cognitive distortions, we think they do. |
| Labeling |
Labeling is a kind of cognitive distortion where we apply a label to ourselves. We might decide we are stupid, ugly, a failure or a drunk. We decide that this label is definitive, and we can’t fight it, so we might as well accept it. This, of course, is not true. We can always take positive steps to change things we don’t like. |
- Polarised Thinking
- Polarised thinking happens when we only think in terms of extremes. Either we will be wildly successful, or a dismal failure. Either we will be deliriously in love, or desperately alone. We don’t allow ourselves to think about all the possibilities between those to extremes.
- Overgeneralisation
- We all generalise from time to time, but if you overgeneralise, you probably do this much more frequently. Perhaps you didn’t get a job you interviewed for, so you decide that your skills are worthless, and you will never get any job. That’s not realistic, which is why this kind of overgeneralisation is a cognitive distortion.
- Catastrophising
- Catastrophising is a type of cognitive distortion where you automatically jump to the worst possible outcome. So, your lunch date doesn’t arrive on time, so you automatically assume they’ve been in an accident. The idea that they might simply be stuck in traffic is not even a consideration.Personalisation
- Personalisation
- Personalisation is a type of cognitive distortion which causes you to take everything personally, even when it is not personal. You might feel that you are regularly left out of social events, or that everyone is out to get you. People who suffer from this type of cognitive distortion feel that they are being targeted by people around them, in their personal and professional lives.
- Mind Reading
- If you often feel that you know what other people are thinking, you are probably suffering from a type of cognitive distortion known as mind reading. You might have heard this described as “putting words in someone else’s mouth.” Instead of waiting to hear what they are thinking, you assume that you already know.
- Mental Filtering
- Have you ever been described as a pessimist? Chances are you are guilty of mental filtering. This is a type of cognitive distortion where you immediately disregard positive thoughts and focus on the negative ones. This might apply to thoughts about situations and events, but also to yourself. So, you might automatically assume you will fail at something, rather than considering the possibility that you might succeed.
- Should Statements
- Have you ever told yourself that you should be able to do something, or that it should be possible to achieve something? This is a cognitive distortion. Often, these thoughts come from social, cultural, or family expectations. You “should” be able to get into medical school because your mother or father did. There’s no real connection between those two things, but your mind has created one.
- Emotional Reasoning
- Emotional reasoning is a kind of cognitive distortion where we decide that the way we feel about something is definitive. We are afraid of flying, therefore flying is bad. We don’t like a particular person; therefore, they are a bad person. Our feelings about a person, thing or situation does not define that thing, but when we have cognitive distortions, we think they do.
- Labelling
- Labelling is a kind of cognitive distortion where we apply a label to ourselves. We might decide we are stupid, ugly, a failure or a drunk. We decide that this label is definitive, and we can’t fight it, so we might as well accept it. This, of course, is not true. We can always take positive steps to change things we don’t like.
Cognitive Distortion and Anxiety
When we allow ourselves to believe in cognitive distortions like the ones we’ve mentioned here, we start to believe that everything is out of our control. Bad things are going to happen to us no matter what we do, say, or try, so eventually, we don’t even think we should try.
Feeling powerless is very likely to make you feel more anxious, because everything is happening to you, and you have no control. But cognitive distortions are not real, and we do always have some power to decide what happens to us.
How to Overcome Cognitive Distortions
If you are experiencing cognitive distortions, the first step is to learn to recognise when your thoughts are drifting into this territory. Pay careful attention to what you are thinking and telling yourself, and when you find yourself thinking negative thoughts that are not based on reality and logic, identify that they are not the truth.
If you are focused on an extreme negative outcome, try to think about all the other things that might happen. The world is not made up of only extremes. There are endless possibilities between them, so consider what might happen if you were to have one of those outcomes.
Try to determine why you allow yourself to think negatively. Has it helped you in the past? Did you avoid being disappointed when things didn’t work out perfectly? Have you been able to talk yourself out of risky decisions because of what might go wrong (while ignoring what might happen if things go right?) Clear, critical thinking is the antithesis of cognitive distortion, so force yourself to consider all the real possibilities.
If you can connect your negative thinking to a person, like a parent who did not believe in you, limit your contact with them, and find people who support and encourage you.
Cognitive distortions can become a habit over time, but habits can be broken. You just need to counteract them with rationality and logic.
Therapy for Cognitive Distortions
If you find that your cognitive distortions are preventing you from doing things you want to, taking chances and opportunities that might improve your life, and holding you back, you might need help.
Many people find that surrounding themselves with positive “cheerleaders” and consciously examining negative thoughts themselves can be helpful, however, some require a little extra help.
Cognitive behavioural therapy is a kind of therapy that focuses on talking about problems and thoughts, and about how you might approach them differently. Sometimes, having a trained therapist or counsellor guide you through the process makes it easier to learn the coping strategies and take the steps you need to beat this kind of self-sabotage.
The good news is that, like most things, success breeds success. When you start recognising your distorted thinking for what it is and make decisions that are not based on your own inner critic, you will have more success. As you discover that even if you don’t reach the extremes you create in your head, the results can be pretty good, you will be more inclined to give things a try.
After all, as they say, if you aim for the moon and miss, you’ll still land among the stars.
Positive Thinking and Anxiety
Very often, when we have anxiety, we’re not scared of something real, but rather the negative possibilities we create in our own heads. When you are dealing with cognitive distortions, you are always focused on the worst possible outcome. So, you not only set yourself up to fail, but you also give yourself permission not to even try.
When you allow yourself to think positively about the world, you are less likely to be anxious or afraid to try things. The more you allow yourself to do things that might make you anxious, the more you will find that things don’t work out nearly as badly as you thought they might.
Unfortunately, when it comes to anxiety, the more you give into your fears, the more anxious you are probably going to become. So even if you think negatively and do have cognitive distortion, the best way to break the cycle is to take small steps, discover that you can succeed, and build on that success.
Life can be scary, and it’s tempting to keep to ourselves and avoid taking chances. But you will only be limiting the possibilities, and the truth is, you’re likely to succeed a lot more frequently than you fail!